We'll help you get your affairs in order and make sure nothing is left out. All Rights Reserved. She was neatly dressed and even had her hair put up. Need Immediate Service? As author Arvind Sharma would say, there are as many Hinduisms as there are Hindus. Just the same, this leniency does not give people a wash from tradition. Many make allowances for the cremation to take place but the Hindu funeral rites may be executed on-site. And unlike a phone call or a personal visit, e-mail doesn't require an immediate response from the recipient. In this sect of Hinduism, theres no food or drink offered to the family for up to 10 days. The word hearty means happy and should not be confused with heart-felt. It's worth noting that some communities and faiths have an open casket at the visitation and at the funeral service. You are lucky he went early!, I know how you feel, I was devastated when my cat died last year!. Ask the person who will be officiating at the service for any tips on preparing and delivering a eulogy. If you are a colleague or acquaintance: Send an email or handwritten note immediately. what to say to someone who has experienced a death, How to Express Sympathy: What to Say and What Not to Say. Mourners customarily choose to wear simple, white clothing to the funeral, although this is not a religious requirement, and a Hindu priest usually leads the prayers. During the ceremony, non-Hindus can sit quietly. Usually, Hindu families arrange the funeral ceremony within 24 hours after death. After you hear about someones death, it is pretty customary to visit the deceased family at their place immediately for offering your sympathy. In such situations too, it is helpful to remember that no hospital would knowingly do anything that could harm the patient. Hindu death rituals involve chanting of certain mantras, which are written especially to be chanted at funerals. Because people will be standing, it is customary to keep the ceremony brief. Are others going to be speaking about her? If you are a close friend or relative: Call or text immediately, find a time to visit the bereaved at home, and continue to stay in touch on a daily basis. Are you sure you want to Unsubscribe from Malayala Manorama News letter/ Alert. A notice would either state the hour and location of the service, which would mean that it would be appropriate for you to attend if you wished, or it would indicate if the service is private. May God bring speed to your childs soul. That being said, our approach to the bereaved cannot be generalised beyond a point; each situation is unique, as is each family. Visitors are expected to bring fruit. eCondolence.com, LLC | Copyright 2023. Determining the best time to contact the bereaved generally depends on your relationship to the bereaved or the person who died. (2008). Deciding to stop by at a funeral on the way to a wedding, therefore, can be suicidal. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. While silence is perfectly acceptable, a few well-chosen, soft words of comfort can help ease the pain. Once the major decisions have been made, visit, or at least speak with, the person performing the service. Here's a list of simple and concise condolence messages that can be sent to a person in grief. Those who are close to the grieving family can gently make sure that they dont miss their meals. Usage of any form or other service on our website is Just as It is all part of Gods plan might not go down well with an atheist, He will soon be reborn into a more beautiful life can be hugely offending to someone who doesnt believe in rebirth. Through cremation, the five basic elements, known as thepanchbhut, are returned to the universe, signifying the maintenance of cosmic equilibrium. The soul, however, must continue with its journey. Check out some ways to incorporate this idea when offering condolences for a partner or spouse. Medical decision making is among the most complex tasks known to man; and not all decisions lead to a positive outcome, although taken in good faith. Kalyana saavu is roughly translated as happy death, and you would use this phrasing to honor someones life and legacy. On behalf of my family, I want to say how sorry we are for your loss. For many people who have experienced a death, it can be helpful to know that their closest friends and family are thinking of them and are available to help. When writing sympathy cards for Hindu loved ones, geography plays a vital role. Hare Krishna. 4. When a person dies, their atman (spirit or soul) is reincarnated into a different physical body or life form (human, animal, insect or plant). When attending a senior persons funeral, enquiring publicly about the age of the deceased is inappropriate, whereas nodding in approval of the stated age is downright rude. Think of some light, special stories about your friend. Before the funeral, Catholics hold the Vigil (Wake). 6. And if you plan on visiting themyoull spend more time in silence rather than offering condolences. Gifts of food and red flowers are not acceptable; white flowers are considered the appropriate mourning flower. Have a shortened version ready in case you find yourself breaking down. As there is no room for error, it is better to go prepared than be caught by surprise not knowing how to respond in such situations. Friends may call or visit family members of the deceased to offer their condolences upon hearing of the death and may bring flowers to them at that time. is the best and appropriate choice. Because of the short cremation time, there is no requirement for embalming. For a parent, sons and daughters are equally precious. See if you would agree. However, you may send or bring flowers ahead of time. There are no set customs prohibiting working during the period of mourning, so returning to work is often an individual decision. Examples are I am sorry for your loss, We are here to help in any way that we can, I will check back on you tomorrow, I am just a phone call away. After that, the body is moved to the cremation place from the home, where the cremation ceremony takes place. It is important to avoid language bloopers like hearty condolences, a common error in this part of the world. of an actual attorney. May Lord Krishna grant everlasting peace to her soul. Post Funeral. Specific rituals depend on the patients affiliation to a particular Hindu tradition. Accept, Whats regionally accepted in Southern India, for example, may not be appropriate or even standard in the North. The important thing is that you have received comfort from the many who have helped you. Offer specific assistance: "I'm going to the grocery. Rather than quoting the Bhagavad Gita directly, you can also take its essence and interpret that into something meaningful. Pinterest. We have the perfect wedding, graduation or housewarming gift for someone special in your life. If the bereaved person would rather speak to someone they dont know or needs additional support, specialist bereavement support services (see below) are available. The soul is neither born, nor does it ever die; nor having once existed, does it ever cease to exist. It is customary to make a brief visit and spend a few moments in private prayer and then to visit with the family members. The fees for the advice of an attorney should not be compared to the fees of do-it-yourself online The nominations for the 93rd Academy Awards will be announced on March 15. A Hindu death ritual comprises of three parts: So, the actual funeral takes place at the deceaseds home, although actual events can be considered a wake according to western standards because of its short span. Although some people may attend the cremation ceremony, non-Hindus are not allowed to participate in the mukhagni ceremony. For advice on choosing the best form of communication to use, see our article: How to Offer Condolences, For tips on what to say and not say to someone who has experienced a loss, see our article: How to Express Sympathy: What to Say and What Not to Say, Paying Final Bills, Dues, And Estate Expenses. Think through how you truly feel about it. According to my calculations based on astrology, he could not have chosen a better time to die is another example of saying the wrong thing in the wrong place at the wrong time. That said, its the intent alongside the words that mean the most to nearly anyone. Your are already subscribed for Malayala Manorama News Letter/Alert. They sit in the first two rows on the left, and after the service they leave, two by two, preceding the casket. On behalf of my family, I want to say how sorry we are for your loss. The flowers are placed at the feet of the deceased. Common blunders while visiting the bereaved: 1. Traditionally, the Hindu funeral ceremony involves a ritual burning of the deceased body. Whether we are comfortable with it or not, visiting bereaved families is part of living in society. During this time, because the family of the deceased is considered impure, they are bound by several rules of behavior. Sit down at your desk as soon as you hear of the death and let your thoughts be with your coworker as you write to her. If you knew him, some kind words about himperhaps an anecdotewould mean a lot. If this cultural shift is your cousins history, it might be appropriate to mention that distinction to honor them both after. It would surely be a meaningful and caring gesture. During this period, the close relatives of the deceased person abstain from celebrations and . Otherwise, if they show and express sorrow, guests will offer words to help them accept what has happened to move forward. And if you plan on visiting themyou'll spend more time in silence rather than offering condolences. JavaScript is disabled. Hare Krishna. Viewing the body is not mandatory, but is usually considered respectful if the casket is open and displayed near the family. During this time, some of the traditions will limit or restrict participation in festivals and events, as well as discourage making life-altering decisions like changing jobs or moving. Customs vary by tradition, but are conducted by a local priest and involve prayers, scripture readings and chanting. (Extra chairs can be made available for the elderly.) 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